How content are we really? I live in a Country that is pretty spoiled with stuff. These things I see often in people when I am out and about in the world. We are supposedly going through a recession...But I see people buying, buying, buying. Must be nice. Well, after thinking about it and even getting upset about it, I realize I have no reason to be upset for someone else's bad decisions or debt or depression. I gotta worry about my own. It's not worth my time or energy to allow others to steal my joy...It doesn't do me any benefit to get bothered about people or things going on around me that is completely out of my control. I cannot control others and their attitudes, or their hearts, and I can't make people like me. For if they don't well, it is their loss and their problem. I have come to the conclusion with much thought and prayer to really hand it all over to God. I no longer feel and know there is no benefit or good that could come from trying to find my self worth through man (people). I don't need to find my worth in anything else but know I have worth in God and my wonderful supportive husband and two beautiful children. There have been years when I wondered why I didn't have a lot of friends. I yearned for friends up until recently. Now, heading into my 40th year, and the counsel of my soon to be Pastor hubby, it has finally sunk in that I don't need to even worry about all that for God has given me many blessings right here and right now. I can now see the ones who truly care for my family and I, ultimately it is God who cares, who is always there for us and will never let us down.
I have wasted so much time worrying about things when there were so many joys I think I missed. So have my children. We are in a tough spot right now...where we have been here for almost four years so my husband can go to Seminary to better our future and will possibly be leaving when he graduates this May. Four years ago we moved away from a home my children knew well, a church and friends we were very involved in then moved to a different state. I was lonely for friendship here, but seemed not many want to get too close to you because you are only here for temporary...I was even told by one woman I tried to befriend that she has decided not to get close to me as a friend for I am a seminary wife. Yeah, I was told that to my face. Yes, it hurt my feelings, little do they know what a tender heart I have or the background I came from, I see now it is only their selfishness...Though she does not want to get to know me, I can still say I love her because she is a fellow sister in Christ..I have learned this hard lesson through several others as well. My dear hubby pointed out though, that it is not me, that it is them for whatever reason they are that way we will not know but can pray for them...He consoled me to find joy in the people that do care and want relationships and be content in them. No matter what I can find joy in the Lord...and my family. So true. Am I that stupid not to realize that? I feel so much better now, I am ready to move on in the here and now...To be completely content in all my situations and be able to thank God for each and every gift even if they don't seem like gifts...or even find gifts and joy in not so good circumstances.
This, I think by golly is a lesson I need to be learning real quick before my husband gets a call into the Ministry...Because no matter where we go or who we affiliate ourselves with there is going to be some chaos, drama and sin. For this very reason I need to learn now to not worry, be content and keep my eyes open to all things and see them as lessons and joys. I have to realize that not every one is going to like me or my family as a whole and you know what, that's okay...I don't need them to feel that way. My main mission is to find my true joy and content in God and my husband and children. No matter how someone feels about me, I can only just love them, because Christ loves me. And that doesn't mean that everyone has to be my buddy bud. I feel like a weight has lifted and I can still be me.
Through all my crazy thoughts and worries over little things...I continue to read Gods word...which always brings me back to sanity. I have also recently started to read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Vokamp.... Really good book...Very poetic like and heartfelt and makes ya think geesh even little me can find joy in all circumstances even the little things that may not mean a thing to Joe Shmo down the street. I decided to even take the challenge and write and record pictures of the things I am thankful to God for..His grace abounds, His gifts to me are all true joy. I am prepared to keep my eyes wide open to those hidden and blatant joys around instead of finding faults or negativity in the things around me, for that is not a very healthy life to live. I dare not want to feel that way any longer.
I wish to act like Paul who wrote in Philippians 4:11~12
"I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation,
whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little."
I wish to learn too...
So here you have it my first six gifts/joys
through pictures this weekend.
1. Starting every morning off right with the Bible for breakfast.
2. Warm oatmeal with vanilla and cinnamon that
will stick to my bones all morning through.
3. Precious smiles that prick my heart and wakes me up from a dull day.
4. Gannie blankets to keep me warm while we are trying to conserve heat cost.
5. Shoes for our little piggies protection.
6. Soda Pop dates with my kids
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More gifts and blessings coming soon.
Perhaps this will inspire you to do the same. Have a wonderful weekend filled with real joy in your real life.
